Yesterday I lost the baby, gods it had me all messed up but my mom says the pain would subside once I rest. Hiding this had been the worst idea ever, and to think being a mom at 15 would have been chaotic, no I can’t do that to my mate. Mate oh gods how can I face him now as I sit here looking at his sleeping body I wonder how much this had to hurt him and it scares me that our relationship will hurt for a long time. No mom says it shouldn’t that our bond shouldn’t allow it but how can she know she is married to Trick. Oh dear Trick he was so mad at Kyr but he got over it quick still he is being watched even if we can share rooms at moms house simply because I am weak from the procedure I hate to mention. I love Kyr and don’t think I can survive without him, but it scares me to think he will reject me for what was done two days ago.
Also my brother I think he hates me I am scared that our twinship will be broken because I can’t seem to make him happy. All I want is for me and him to be the best buds we were before I mated with Kyr, but that is a long shot because he feels Kyr stole me from him or something to the sort. Gods I miss my brother so much shocking isn’t it I do I love him to pieces and he doesn’t get it. As for Maria well tough for him he either likes her or not can’t teach an old dog new tricks is what mom said. Mom her I adore I love her so much it hurts to see her cry especially when she saw me so scared and vulnerable god I hated seeing her like that. The woman gave her youth for me and Jake so much so that she still sees us as her babies even if we are almost 15 years of age.
Well I better catch some zzzz before Kyr wakes and tells me off for not sleeping. Oh another thing gods I miss talking to Vane the runt messed that up but I am hoping now that he is mated and calmer I hope for Rebecca sake that he will come around. Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble on journal till tomorrow.
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Subject: Jayden Malkoff 
